Oct 4, 2025

Who Is the Self You Keep Postponing?

Raphael Reiter
hard truths with love
0 comments

“I’ll be calm later. I’ll start meditating tomorrow.” Why not now?

There is a self you speak of in the future tense.

A self who wakes early,

moves slowly,

breathes deeply.

A self who doesn’t scroll endlessly or overreact or rush.

A self who listens.

Who responds instead of reacts.

Who lives with intention instead of impulse.

You talk about this version of you often

the calmer you.

The wiser you.

The more present, patient, grounded you.

But where is that self now?

Why does it always live in tomorrow?

Why does your peace always seem to require… waiting?

We speak of “becoming” as though it’s a place we’ll arrive at.

As if peace is scheduled.

As if presence has prerequisites.

But the self you want to be

is not hiding in a better year,

a different job,

a less chaotic schedule,

a more supportive partner,

a post-retreat clarity.

The self you long to become

is waiting in the very moment you keep postponing.

This one.

Right now.

Not ideal. Not quiet. Not perfect.

But available.

And that’s enough.

“I just need to get through this week.”

“Once this project is over, I’ll slow down.”

“When the kids are older…”

“When I have more time…”

“When I feel more ready…”

But what happens?

The week ends, and another begins.

The project finishes, and three more take its place.

The to-do list doesn’t shrink

your tolerance for burnout just expands.

And in the meantime,

you are watching your real life go by

the one you swore you’d live more fully.

But here’s the truth:

Peace isn’t waiting for the chaos to end.

Peace is your ability to return to yourself amidst the chaos.

We imagine the future version of ourselves

as somehow stronger, more disciplined, more serene.

But how would that happen, if not through today’s actions?

How can you expect tomorrow’s you to meditate,

if today’s you won’t sit for two minutes?

How can you expect tomorrow’s you to stay grounded,

if today’s you chooses urgency over stillness?

Every habit you delay is a brick removed

from the foundation of who you say you want to be.

The question is not:

"Can I become that person someday?"

The question is:

"Will I act like them today, even just once?"

You cannot think your way into presence.

You cannot schedule transcendence.

You must choose it.

Not tomorrow.

Not when you’ve earned it.

Not when the house is clean or the inbox is empty.

Now.

Even in noise.

Even in stress.

Even in heartbreak.

Even in motion.

The self you keep postponing is not behind the next milestone

they are beneath the distraction you’re currently tolerating.

They are not hidden.