Sometimes we get caught up in our ambitions or our willingness to do too well. A parent that might spend too much time worrying about providing the absolute best for their children, for example, might get caught up in working too much and missing out on the important moments (good and challenging).
Of course, we are not only caught up in trying to do the best for others but for ourselves too. Although I am a firm believer that self-care is not optional but sacred, we must be mindful not to care too much about ourselves so that we leave space, time, and energy, to really care about the people who love us.
My original message was that kids spell love T.I.M.E. They don't care about a new toy, a new car, or a super extraordinary vacation as much as they care about you. But the truth is that it is the same for adults too. The only way we can give and receive love is to be present in the moment and in the energy.
You might have a crazy busy schedule; I do too. I work long hours and have many projects. But, that is not an excuse. Every morning I sign a contract to myself, renewing daily my commitment to be the best dad possible. I didn't have parents growing up, so I must be extra careful. What I do is simple. Every day, I schedule a few full hours where I am completely present, completely there for my family. That means that my phone is off and in another room. My calendar automatically rejects appointments in that time frame. To make the time, I must be a bit creative. For example, I will skip lunch and put my feeding window (I practice a 20/4 intermittent fasting) after my kid is back from daycare so that we can eat as a family. Also, I have shortened my workouts and fitness regimen - instead, I power walk my son to the daycare every morning. That's 45 minutes of extra cardio while singing, telling stories, and being present. We do bath time together in the evenings, splash around and have fun in the water. Before that, we go to the park to say hello to the ducks (another good little cardio workout to finish the day).
On top of this, I schedule a date with my wife every Friday, where we go to an experimental patisserie together in the afternoon. I also dedicate a whole day to being there with them. With youtube, writing, clients, work, podcast, etc., this move seemed crazy. But it's not; it's essential. I am more productive during the week because I know that I have all this dedicated time to spend with the people I love
And so this is my message for today: schedule your priorities. If you're like me, your priority will be spending quality time with the people you love, then schedule that in your calendar too!
I want to finish with a quote from Marcus Aurelius that I have repeated on the channels a million times before. I will continue for as long as I breathe: "Memento Mori" (translated: Remember death). Remember that you are a mortal, that today might be your last, that this action might be your last, that this kiss might be your last. Seneca said it in an even more powerful way: "When you kiss your wife and children, remember that you are kissing mortals."
Love + Soul HUGS
Raph